Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Locker Room Talk: The Truth Comes Out!

So, this happened:  Donald Trump Says Stuff

And ever since, we've been hearing a lot about "locker room talk."  But I'm going to let you in on a little secret...something The Establishment doesn't want you to know!  (Like: taxes are voluntary!  Only true.)

I'm a fifty year old cis-gendered male.  And while I'm hardly a gym rat, I've spent a fair amount of time in men's locker rooms over the years.  So I've got the inside scoop on locker room talk...and I'm going to break the Code of Silence!  Soon, you too will know all of our secrets!  I'm going to answer the question that all Americans are asking:  how often do guys in locker rooms say stuff like Donald Trump's little hot-mic gaffe? 

In my experience, never.  Not once.  In my entire life, I can't remember ever overhearing any conversation remotely like that recorded between Donald Trump and Billy Bush.  

Most locker room talk is, in fact, pretty much like talk anywhere else.  Men talk about work, vacations, sports, TV shows, politics, and the weather.  Also, men talk a lot about how crowded the locker room is.  Figuring out how not to be in each other's way is an important component of locker room socializing.  The word "pussy" just doesn't come up.

Most men know this.  'Cause we're there.  In the locker room.  Not talking about pussy.  

When people use the phrase "locker room talk," they don't really mean "what goes on among most men in most locker rooms."  What they have in mind is the locker rooms of men's college and professional sports teams, notably football and basketball. 

And here's the thing: the world of big-money team sports is a deviant subculture. The attitudes and behaviors that are accepted in that world are not normal, and we should resist any and all attempts to normalize them.  

Most men know better.  I suspect that Billy Bush knows better, but wants to hang with the celebs, so he apes their ways.  (Donald Trump literally can't know better because he is a psychopath; he genuinely can't help it.  Most men are not psychopaths.)     

So the cat's out of the bag:  men's locker room talk is about as interesting (or uninteresting) as men's talk anywhere.  Let Donald Trump look someplace else for protective camouflage.  

1 comment:

  1. Not a gym rat, but a racquetball player, tennis player, and swimmer, my observations coincide precisely with yours. In addition, I attended a men's college and while I do not know about talk in the men's sports teams' locker room, I never heard any talk like Trump's in the PE class locker room.